O dia em que João Gilberto fumou maconha com os Novos Baianos

Famosos, Featured, Fumosos, Música

hempadao 3 junho, 2019

Na foto: João Gilberto – Foto: Arquivo A Tarde

Conto inédito de Sérgio Rodrigues, na Folha, narra o incrível dia em que João Gilberto visita a trupe dos Novos Baianos, no histórico sítio em Jacarepaguá

O homem chegou num fim de tarde de sábado, tipo cinco horas. O Moraes tinha inventado aquele dia de fazer uma moqueca mas, típico, perdeu o pique e a Ritinha teve que assumir. Moqueca atrasada, todo mundo faminto e quase de porre da cerveja na barriga vazia, um táxi Opala novo e de banho tomado para na estradinha de terra e me desce um cara de terno preto carregando um violão.

por Sérgio Rodrigues
na Folha

Eu ri. Fazia um calor de melar cocaína, quase todo mundo no banho de mangueira, neguinho de sunga, Teresa Olho de Peixe, Baby e Pepita nuns deliciosos biquínis quase teóricos, de repente me desce do táxi a porra de um coroa de terno preto carregando um violão. De olhar, só olhar, pinicava o cocoruto. O táxi engatou uma ré e sumiu. Lembro de pensar, sujou, mas não deu tempo de ir longe na paranoia porque de repente o tempo parou.

Cantinho da Vovó – Sítio habitado pela banda Novos Baianos, em Jacarepaguá – RJ

Sei lá quanto tempo o tempo ficou parado. Uma pausa de mil compassos do Paulinho, alguma coisa assim.

O primeiro que abriu a boca foi outro Paulinho, o nosso. Caralho, ele falou, cantando a palavra.

O cara de terno tarra em pé no portãozinho capenga entreaberto como se estivesse encabulado de entrar, sorrindo de leve. O sol bateu de chapa nos óculos dele, ricocheteou na buganvília que emoldurava o portão, foi terminar de chispar lá longe. Os gêmeos vieram engatinhando os dois ao mesmo tempo na grama em direção ao sujeito. Balbuciavam: Ho-ba-la-lá, ho-ba-la-lá. O velho Pirata, que tarra deitado perto do balanço da mangueira, também convergiu pro portão. O recém-chegado era um ímã.

De repente o Pepeu veio de dentro da casa esbaforido atrás dos gêmeos e levou um susto ao dar de cara com a cena. Falou: Epa!

Só aí o Moraes levantou a cabeça, piscando muito.

A banda vivia de forma alternativa, com muita fumaça, futebol e música

Naquele sábado o Moraes já tinha fumado três charros da grossura da canela da Ritinha e tarra há umas duas horas afundado em si. Sentou de lado na rede e tarra tentando calçar o chinelo quando um sorriso aberto iluminou a cara dele em sinal de caimento de ficha, e aí o andamento mudou radical. Com um salto ágil que eu nunca tinha visto ele dar, o Moraes ficou em pé e começou a gritar de braços abertos: João, meu rei, João, lá vem meu rei João, meu rei, cantando. Era a primeira vez que eu via esse comportamento de fã no Moraes, um cara no geral bem altivo e tal. Comecei a entender que normal era uma coisa que aquele dia não ia ser.

Decidi ir pegar o cavaquinho que eu tinha deixado em cima da cama e aproveitei pra dar uma mijada.

Quando voltei tarra todo mundo abraçado em fila dupla em volta do visitante. O Paulinho chorava, a Baby e a Pepita não paravam de rir, a Ritinha tipo olhando de fora meio incrédula meio enternecida e eu pensei, essa maconha que o Espectro trouxe ontem é veneno demais. Todo mundo mutcho louco, aquele não era o maluco chato da bossa nova, vozinha sussurrada, cara de contador ou de crente? Por que caceta tarra todo mundo tipo, vi Jesus agora?

O Moraes beijou a mão dele, o Galvão também. A Pepita, aliás Pepita Montez, ninguém menos, a famosa atriz da pornochanchada que eu não sei bem o que fazia lá, a Pepita beijou estalado as duas bochechas, no que foi imitada pela Baby. A Teresa entendeu mal e tentou patolar o cara, mas foi contida pela Ritinha.

Sérgio Rodrigues: escritor, jornalista e colunista da Folha, escreveu os livros “O Drible”, “Viva a Língua Brasileira”, entre outros.

Quando chegou a minha vez de abraçar o João, porque eu saquei que pegava mal não pagar meus cumprimentos e tal, eu era o mais novo ali, dei um tapinha no ombro e falei: Sou desafinado também. O que é verdade, cantando eu sou uma saracura baleada. Ha, he, hi, hi, hi, hi, o Paulinho riu.

A Rita avisou que a moqueca tarra pronta. Chegou na hora certinha, ela disse pro João, depois falam que baiano é atrasado. Fomos andando pra mesa da varanda. O pessoal comentava com o João como tinha sido legal uma outra vez que eles se encontraram, parece que num apartamento na cidade, mas que agora, no sítio, ia ser muito melhor. Eu não sabia nada daquilo de encontro em apartamento, não andava com o pessoal na época. Vi que os gêmeos tinham caído no sono no canto embaixo do nicho onde ficava a imagem de São Jorge. Pirata montava guarda junto deles.

Enquanto a Ritinha e a Tê traziam as panelas de barro com sua rabiola de fumaça, um perfume de enfeitiçar a vizinhança se ali tivesse vizinhança, apertei em cima da mesa uma tora que tarra mais pra canela da Baby que da Ritinha e ergui uma oração ao Espectro, que na véspera quando apareceu no sítio de moto com sua matula tinha contado a história do irmãozinho doente dele. A parada era tipo filme de terror, o irmãozinho do Espectro ia morrer se não aparecesse um doador de um tipo de sangue lá que só ele mais doze pessoas no mundo tinham, e o Espectro contou que por isso andava metido naquele negócio de vender bagulho, necessidade.

O pessoal começou a se servir de moqueca, arroz e pirão. Risquei um fósforo da marca Olho, acendi a tora e passei pro João. Ele pegou, olhou o beque com bitola de charuto. Botou na boca, tragou fundo e prendeu a fumaça. Quando soltou o ar, quase não tinha fumaça mais. Repetiu a operação mais duas vezes.

Depois de finalmente passar o baiano pra Pepita, João abriu a boca pela primeira vez desde sua aparição no Opala amarelo. Disse que um médico de Nova York que ele conhecia podia ajudar o irmãozinho do Espectro. Isto é, talvez.

Amém, eu falei.



58 respostas para “O dia em que João Gilberto fumou maconha com os Novos Baianos”

  1. Choose pictures and sounds that are relevant to the content of your blog.

  2. When you act this way, it makes it less likely that your teammates will pass you the ball in the future.

  3. Research who your readers are before you ever start writing.

  4. Have a plan in place whenever you get ready to practice.

  5. Howdy! This post could not be written much better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He constantly kept talking about this. I’ll forward this post to him. Pretty sure he will have a great read. Thanks for sharing!

  6. There’s certainly a great deal to know about this topic. I like all of the points you have made.|

  7. Make sure you utilize tags in your blog posts in a careful manner.

  8. Howdy there, just turned receptive to your web page through Yahoo and bing, and found that it’s pretty helpful. I will truly appreciate in the event you maintain this informative article.

  9. Avatar ikov disse:

    I really love your blog.. Excellent colors & theme. Did you build this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m wanting to create my own blog and want to know where you got this from or exactly what the theme is named. Many thanks.

  10. An outstanding share, I simply offered this onto an associate that was doing a little analysis on this. As well as he as a matter of fact bought me morning meal because I found it for him. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the reward! Yet yeah Thnkx for spending the time to review this, I feel highly about it and also love learning more on this subject. If possible, as you come to be competence, would you mind updating your blog site with even more information? It is extremely helpful for me. Large thumb up for this post!

  11. I merely wish to inform you you that I am new to blogging and really adored your information. Likely I am prone to remember your blog post . You undoubtedly have great article content. Admire it for giving out with us your current web article

  12. Avatar Best CBD Oil disse:

    Good article. I will be facing some of these issues as well..

  13. Everything is very open with a clear explanation of the challenges. It was really informative. Your website is very useful. Many thanks for sharing!

  14. Avatar instalooker disse:

    Greetings! Very helpful advice within this post! It is the little changes which will make the largest changes. Many thanks for sharing!

  15. Avatar pmp online disse:

    After I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now whenever a comment is added I receive four emails with the same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service? Appreciate it.

  16. May I simply just say what a relief to uncover someone that truly understands what they’re talking about online. You actually understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. A lot more people must read this and understand this side of the story. It’s surprising you are not more popular since you surely have the gift.

  17. Avatar abrade disse:

    I quite like looking through a post that can make men and women think. Also, many thanks for allowing for me to comment.

  18. Just wanna state that this is handy , Thanks for taking your time to write this.

  19. Your style is unique compared to other people I’ve read stuff from. Thank you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this page.

  20. Thanks, I have just been looking for info about this subject for a while and yours is the best I’ve found out so far. But, what concerning the bottom line? Are you certain in regards to the supply?

  21. Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Spending some time and actual effort to make a really good article… but what can I say… I put things off a whole lot and don’t seem to get anything done.

  22. Avatar wooyart disse:

    Greetings! Very helpful advice in this particular article! It is the little changes that will make the largest changes. Thanks for sharing!

  23. Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Thanks, However I am encountering issues with your RSS. I don’t understand why I cannot join it. Is there anyone else getting similar RSS problems? Anyone that knows the answer can you kindly respond? Thanks.

  24. An intriguing discussion is worth comment. I think that you ought to write more about this issue, it may not be a taboo subject but typically people do not discuss such issues. To the next! Many thanks.

  25. Very interesting info !Perfect just what I was searching for! “Some people don’t get it when I’m being sarcastic.” by Leonardo DiCaprio.

  26. Some genuinely great articles on this website, thank you for contribution. “Careful. We don’t want to learn from this.” by Bill Watterson.

  27. Avatar porn disse:

    Greetings! Very useful advice within this post! It is the little changes that make the most significant changes. Many thanks for sharing!

  28. Avatar ufa888a disse:

    I’m amazed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both equally educative and amusing, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is something which too few men and women are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy that I found this in my hunt for something concerning this.

  29. Hello, Neat post. There’s a problem together with your website in web explorer, could test this… IE still is the marketplace chief and a big element of other folks will omit your excellent writing because of this problem.

  30. MetroClick specializes in building completely interactive products like Photo Booth for rental or sale, Touch Screen Kiosks, Large Touch Screen Displays , Monitors, Digital Signages and experiences. With our own hardware production facility and in-house software development teams, we are able to achieve the highest level of customization and versatility for Photo Booths, Touch Screen Kiosks, Touch Screen Monitors and Digital Signage. Visit MetroClick in NYC at http://www.metroclick.com/ or , 121 Varick St, New York, NY 10013, +1 646-843-0888.

  31. I really wish to inform you that I am new to online blogging and clearly admired your site. More than likely I am prone to store your blog post . You definitely have great article information. Value it for discussing with us your website document

  32. Avatar sellefied disse:

    Hi! I could have sworn I’ve visited this website before but after looking at a few of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often.

  33. Avatar fires account disse:

    When I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I get four emails with the exact same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service? Kudos.

  34. Avatar Bridal Shower disse:

    Excellent write-up. I absolutely appreciate this site. Keep writing!

  35. Avatar You Can Print disse:

    This website really has all of the information I needed concerning this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

  36. Publishing unique content could be a tough job.

  37. bookmarked!!, I really like your site.

  38. Avatar wealth disse:

    Spot on with this write-up, I truly think this site needs far more attention. I’ll probably be back again to read through more, thanks for the information.

  39. Avatar Off road led disse:

    Good article! We are linking to this particularly great post on our site. Keep up the good writing.

  40. Sapid Agency is a Search Engine Optimization company in New York City that provides SEO Services. Their proprietary SEO strategies help struggling websites and aspiring business owners to rank their websites higher in multiple search engines like Google , Yahoo and Bing. They provide local and gmb map ranking for businesses in NYC and many other local areas. Find more at https://www.sapidagency.com/ @ 145 E 57TH NEW YORK, NY 10022, USA, +1 971 341 5608 USA

  41. Avatar atlassessions disse:

    I love reading a post that will make men and women think. Also, many thanks for allowing me to comment.

  42. This website truly has all of the information I needed concerning this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

  43. You need to be a part of a contest for one of the most useful sites on the internet. I will recommend this site!

  44. I’d like to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this blog. I am hoping to view the same high-grade content from you in the future as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own website now 😉

  45. You need to be a part of a contest for one of the finest websites on the net. I am going to recommend this website!

  46. That is a really good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere. Simple but very accurate information… Thank you for sharing this one. A must read post.

  47. This site truly has all the information and facts I needed concerning this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

  48. Avatar posters disse:

    Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this post and the rest of the website is also really good.

  49. Do you believe in your past life? Do you think past lives regression is real?

  50. Avatar urban fashion disse:

    After I initially commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I recieve 4 emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a way you are able to remove me from that service? Appreciate it.

  51. almost everyone in our family have hypertension, this disease is very common among older people“

  52. This web page is usually a walk-through for all of the info it suited you in regards to this and didn’t know who must. Glimpse here, and you’ll undoubtedly discover it.

  53. I simply want to tell you that I’m very new to blogging and site-building and absolutely liked this website. More than likely I’m going to bookmark your website . You really come with great stories. Thanks a lot for sharing with us your web-site.

Deixe uma resposta

O seu endereço de e-mail não será publicado. Campos obrigatórios são marcados com *




[pro_ad_display_adzone id=17608]
[pro_ad_display_adzone id=17609]